He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize