You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize