im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Found your dick twin last night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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