i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize