Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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