I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize