You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize