I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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