i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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