I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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