I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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