i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she pinky promised me she was 18
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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