i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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