she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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