hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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