It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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