yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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