I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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