No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize