Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize