this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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