If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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