So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize