i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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