i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize