The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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