see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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