Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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