Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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