White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize