to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize