He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
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Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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