Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize