I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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