My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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