Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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