This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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