my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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