Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
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Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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