Just cropdusted the office
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
organizing the empties. That sober.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have aggressive nipples.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
