not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize