My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she smelled like a LAN party
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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