There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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