I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize