Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize