and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize