You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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