just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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