what if every blade of grass was a penis?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
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I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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