I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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