i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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